Down for Mexican
"What are we working on today?"
"Oh, everything."
"Great."
"I have so much to tell you! You'll never guess what happened to me..."
"Lay it on me."
"So, the other night blah blah blah came over and he wanted to order Chinese, but I thought oh I don't want Chinese. We should get Mexican, because you know, Chinese food has MSG in it and I can't eat anything with MSG, It gives me a headache. So I tell blah blah blah, that I should really have Mexican and he can have Chinese- this way he doesn't get mad and..."
"uh huh"
"... but you know how he is, a total asshole when it comes to food so..."
Wow. How does he fucking stand her? I would shove Mexican food down her throat just to shut her up. Actually Mexican sounds kinda good. Maybe I'll ask Shelby if she wants Mexican food. I would totally drive. This way if we take my car, she can't smoke! Ah ha!
"So, then the food comes and the guy doesn't have change for a twenty and.."
Lady, you need to shave your legs, I mean wax. You could qualify for a wax for free if you walked into a day spa. Those ladies would take one look at you and wanna wax you just to save themselves from looking at the hairy calve when doing your pedicure. It's really cheap, maybe I should mention it. Nah, that would be totally rude. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Your legs are gross, here's a good spa?
"Blah Blah Blah Blah....Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blaaaaaaah...hahaha"
"Ha ha, that's a good one!"
How much longer do we have? Oh, God...that's a long-ass time. I should cut my hair, I'm getting tired of it. This blonde hair is overrated. I think I wanna go back to red. I almost don't feel like myself. Why is it that women need a haircut or color to feel ba certain way? That says a lot about today's society. Fuck! I fucking sound like you know who. Don't even say it.
O.k., make a hair appointment and get on with it. I should just go back to coloring my own hair. I probably spend close to $800 on cuts and color a year. Holy shit. I'm fucking worth it. I'm not giving it up. I don't care what it costs. I shouldn't have to...
"So I tell him to stop for second so I can check, but you know he can't hear me when he's so into it and.."
"Right."
What the fuck are we talking about? What did she say? Ok, just act normal- she doesn't suspect a thing. Just keep saying "ok, right, sure" and she will never know.
"So he just keeps saying 'that a girl! that a girl!' "
Ok, I'm lost. Who? Blah Blah Blah? Who is calling her a girl? What happen to the food? O.k., don't look confused. Just keep smiling.
"And I'm like, stop! stop!"
"Wow."
What the...
"And then I reach around and pull out the rubber band."
(at this point I have stopped massaging)
"Where? From out of you?"
"What?"
"Uh, what?"
What are talking about? Why is she looking at me like that? Her mouth is open. Say something.
"No. The Dog"
"I'm sorry, I think I missed something."
"Nevermind."
"Uh, O.k.?"
(silence)
"So...is the dog o.k.??"
(silence)
Mexican food for lunch, fer sure.
posted by dropdeadred @ 9:10 PM
10 Comments:
Ummmm what did you have?
I don't think you should let anyone smoke in your car. Smoking is bad....VERY BAD! Stop killing the planet.
Smoking is bad??? So is lying and stealing and cheating and fooling yourself and eating shitty and drinking and driving in L.A. and watching TV and lots and lots and lots of other things that will kill YOU and the people you love before you kill the planet. So fuck off anonymous, really...
Not in the mood for this, seriously. I don't smoke! Not anymore. It's not my job to judge. Fuck.
Brandi...we had tacos and they were amazing.
Yes, (not so blonde) all of those things are bad too, so maybe you shouldn't be doing those things either. Maybe if you didn't do those other things, you might be able to handle the truth a little better. Good for you that you stopped. It isn't your job to judge, but you should be responsible. So, good luck to you.
So tacos huh?
Can't handle the truth? Well, why don't you just tell me like it is since you have me so well pegged. Is that supposed to be a slam at me?
That is a pretty ironic comment about honesty, coming from someone who hides behind the anonymous title.
Interesting...nice to see you made the rounds as "anonymous" this morning.
What is going on with you?
Now THAT is good storytelling. Timing is everything... Well, that's not really true. But timing is damn important with humor and this is spot on (as they say across the pond). Also, knowing what not to leave in, as it were (if only the dog were so lucky). A good read. Thanks.
hahahaha...okay damn girl i laughed out loud...i know that feeling exactly!
and then i laughed at you tossing around anonymous....RAWR!
He had it coming.
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