Sorry about the bald spot on your chest

ok.
the other night, I had a nightmare.
It's been a while since I've had one. However, considering I'm a little overworked I could see how it happened.

I was at work in the comfort of familiar surroundings. Just an ordinary day.
This guy who I have never met before came in. Only he was familiar to me in an unfamiliar sort of way. I remember the way he looked. The part in his hair was to his left. He had dark brown eyes but nothing about them were inviting. His skin was rubbery and cool. I swear I cold smell his breath. Sour.
We made the usual chit chat, and I just worked -just like I always do.
Start massage face up. Flip. Massage back. Over. See you up front. The end.
Only this time when I went to leave the room, he stopped me.
He was up on his feet in one swift motion and holding me by neck, pinning me against the dresser in my suite. I didn't even see it coming like I think I should have.
He gave me no reason at all.
He just looked directly in my eyes and said,
"You're going to have to scream if you want to live. Scream. Try. You're not trying."
Only I was trying, I was screaming with everything I had,
but no one came.
I kept wondering how no one was hearing me yell.
I was thrashing and gasping as he held my throat with his rough calloused hand. With his one hand he held me, without even breaking a sweat.
I just kept wondering why
and thinking I was going to die.

Thank God. A familiar voice from the other side of the bed woke me up. In fact I was hanging on to him for dear life. His back against my stomach and my hand ripping the hair off his chest in one clean handful.
I woke up gasping and totally freaked out. Tired and wanting to sleep, but just laying there with my eyes closed tightly trying to think about something else. Anything.I tried to remember something funny CN had said. Maybe a song? Words to a song are always good in times like this. But nothing came. Only his face over and over. My only comfort was knowing at that very moment I was awake and alright.
What worries me most about the stupid dream is how safe I had felt at the time. Just like always, I was friendly and cordial. There was no prelude to danger at all. It just happened out of nowhere.
And to top it off, I felt like I knew him.

So today, after having yesterday off, I'm totally fucked-up beyond any paranoia imaginable. I don't even want to work on another guy. Everyone is a fucking suspect in my book. Maybe I've just let my guard down and this is a wake-up call. Whatever it is, I don't like it. I can really do without feeling this way
and yet I can't talk myself out of it. I'm fairly certain that the odds of someone actually trying to strangle me at work are pretty slim, but who knows?
And to top it off, I had this client today who was this huge behemoth of a man,
questioning me about my relationship status. Then he told me he had a present for me and said I needed to go with him to his car when the massage was over.
In that moment, when I was working on his 6'6 frame and 500lb girth, my hands were shaking.
Freaked. Totally freaked. I hate being scared. I hate feeling like I have lost control of me.
I just wanted to go home and back into the bed with the familiar voice.
Just knowing I had that to look forward to
got me over Mt. Everest
and into my car where I sped home and spent the evening passing-out candy to kids dressed like axe murderers.

I need a vacation.