Soap and water, ever heard of it?

After doing this job for over four years, you would think I would no longer be shocked at how disgusting people could actually be. Wrong. Apparently there is a whole new level to just how repulsive people can get.
Let me ask you this: Would you go to the dentist without brushing your teeth? Would you go to the doctor without a clean pair of underwear? NOOOOOOOO! Of course not!
Then why they Hell would you show-up for a massage without taking a fucking shower? I mean, really. Do you think I am not going to notice? It's one thing to arrive when you just get out of work. Okay, I can understand the fact that you have been sitting at your desk all day and I am your next appointment immediately after leaving work. You all are fine.
I'm talking about the very lazy.
I'm talking about the apes who come in after working-out at the gym all day, the guys who just woke up after sleeping off that hangover for the last 11 hours. Oh and the women, they are no exception. You know you women can come in with your share of funk. sheesh.
Just the other day I had Mary.
Mary is older and a little slow moving, but perfectly within her own wits. She usually shows up, we make chit-chat and I give her massage to ease her aches and pains, blah blah blah.
However this day was different. On this particular day Mary came in late. She was obviously rushing and she walked through my door sweaty and panting. I didn't get a chance to make my usual greeting as she blew right past me into the massage room.
I didn't think too much of it, she knows the drill. I gave her a couple of minutes to change and knocked on the door before I entered the room. Upon entry I was almost knocked over by the stench of waste. Shit. Human Shit.
I surveyed the area before I took my position at the head of the table. Where is it coming from?
I asked her, "Mary, does the room smell to you?"
She actually answered, "No."
I, being the optimist started drawing my own conclusions in my head. Maybe it's the plumbing? Maybe she stepped on something? Maybe its coming from the vent? I proceeded to turn on the extra fan in my room, hoping it would elevate the problem.
I then started working on Mary's shoulders while she laid face-up. We made small talk but she made no mention of the stench. None.
I worked on her neck, shoulders and arms and while I did this, the smell actually dissipated. Hmmmm. I wonder what it was?
"Okay Mary, time to turn over."
I lifted the sheet and let her flip unto her stomach.
I almost gagged. The smell was back with a vengeance.
I picked up the sheet and saw the origin.
Mary actually had her own crap smeared on her. Yep folks, this is no lie. This woman looked like she just stepped out of diaper.
She had crap on her from just above the crack of her ass to south of that.
I immediately covered her and this is how our conversation went:
"Uh, Mary? Did you know you have crap all over your backside?" you stupid gross, filthy woman.
"Oh yes. Sorry about that. I was having some bowel problems last night and had a little accident on the way here today."
"You mean, you had an accident in your car?"
"Yes, dear. I thought I took care of most of it in the parking lot."
"Mary, you have shit on you. You do realize that right?"
"Honey, I tried my best to clean it up before I walked in but.."
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should go home and take a shower?"
"Well, I didn't wanted to miss my massage."
Asshole. You dumb bitch. Thanks for coming in with shit all over your backside. Yea, I won't notice. Hey, don't wanna miss your massage. Who cares how gross and repulsive you are.
"Okay. You are gonna have to leave now. Get dressed and go home."
"Oh...are we done?"
Sigh. "Yep. Done."
This is my life. People are actually this inconsiderate. There is no end to the amount of filth I see and hear.
I wish I had the temperament of a priest. On second thought, I never want to be that forgiving.